Nice spot

Living in Bali

I finally found a nice cottage in the Komala Indah II compound. Though it´s just walking distance to the Poppies area, it is very silent and beautiful here. I live in a cottage within a palm tree garden two minutes from the beach. The spot here isn´t so crowded and has a nice wave. Perfect for me. Sometimes a hot Japanese ass on a bogieboard. But that doesn´t bother me at all. Way to university at seven in the morning goes through violent traffic and I need much more time to Denpasar than by motorbike, but sand in the curves and holes in the streets make driving the jeep more save and it´s great fun as well. After a welcome party in traditional Balinese dressing school has just begun this week, it seems to be an interesting curriculum with intersting promises...”You will be the raw-diamonds of future managers that German industry is looking for.” I don´t know yet if I want to be a diamond, but anyways the lectures in Business Management, Asian Economies and Marketing are very interesting. In Indonesian few students includung me are too good, so we are looking for a better solution. The graduate-photo has been shot few days ago already...this only seems to work in Indonesia.


Graduation before graduating?

I start to get familliar with the island. Maybe I can live here. I will see. I also miss urban Vietnam and Thuy Hang and Moji and the places I have been to. Asia is so great, so different. I love it. The people´s style, that everything does not only look different, but is different. Every country here is so intersting that a lifetime isn´t enough to experience it sufficient. Maybe I should start to believe in reincarnation...Buddhism. I am starting to believe in things like sacrificing already, decorate my car and terrace with Hindu ornamentation...for protection. Try to practice meditation. Especially today (Thursday, March, 30st). It´s Nyepi in Bali – the island of goods. Today everybody, the whole island, locals as well as toursits stay in the room, do not talk, do not use light and do not listen to music – and so I don´t do so. I write this blogger-post, write my still enduring assignments for the University in Bonn, cook noodle soup and meditate. Today the island has to look like as if it is uninhabited. Because today is the day that demons come down to the island. And the only way to keep bad luck away is to hide away so that the demons can spent their time here being undisturbed and find no reason to do bad things...they will find an uninahbited, compeltely deserted island and they will leave and let the gods rule on. Last night there were already hundreds of temple ceremonies and the Ogo Ogo parade.


Ogo Ogo meets Postmodernity

After hesitating two hours and watching the sunset instead with my mobile phone in the hand I finally made it and called my future boss in Englisch – he immediately switched to German. He is from Austria and seems to be really nice. Tuesday I will have dinner with him and start volunteer work at Bali International Consulting Group afterwards. So I will be really busy here and hope there will be some time left to see some parts of the island, enjoy the sun and the waves. I have made some friends already, mostly local gay scene. One of them offered me to live i his room for three months from May...it´s local style, simple, cold shower, no AC, but 35 Euros per month is an unbeatable arguement. I was not yet out lots. Ogo Ogo and an hour on a techno party on the beach last night. I met Paramitha (the “girl” from the sotshots make up session) several times for hanging around or having a drink. She told me that she already had a customer...one of the guys of my study programme...if he knew what I know...stupid guy!


Way to school


Streets of Denpasar


These days I feel deep satisfaction with the experiences I made in the last four weeks in Asia, with the people I met and the people I miss, with living on this paradise island, with things I learn every day, at university and by the people on the streets, with the gifts I am allowed to receive these days. It´s all good. So I am grateful and don´t demand more. It´s already more than I eraned. And the state I am in is not far away from ultimate. The only thing is missing is more money. Here I can see also poverty, so one must be careful not to become decadent, what spheres of the island already are in pure form. Standing between admiration for a luxury life and the convinction that things are running false on this planet, I take a very ambivalent position. I want to find a way that allows me to combine doing something good for me and doing something good for the people. Regarding my own dreams I would like t have enough money tho shift between the people I love and the places I miss as often as possible...for a life like this I am ready to work hard and willing to work for the people...this life would mean ultimate freedom to me.

By the way, Nyepi finally became a scary event. Never seen such a darkness, never heard such a silence, and got a textmessage that a ghost will knock my door…

The Thai Experience

After more or less negative first impressions of Pattaya my stopover in Thailand finally became one of the greatest experiences ever. I moved to Mojis room and we have spend almost all time together. I learned much about the scene, met her friends and discovered that there is in fact a sphere between male and female. Behaving like sexy gals, tabledancing in the dancing in the room, making jokes of their customers or falling in love with them, being so beautiful, they are all in any physical state between the sexes. As a consequence they are standing on the verge of the society. A matter which is due to the narrow-mindedness of the people. For my part, their nature and their dignity deeply impresses me. Moji goes to the tempel as often as possible. She asked me to join her. So Moji, Bee and me went to a tempel in Thonburi (Bangkok) for three days and two nights. That meant dressing in a white robe, sleeping on the ground, waking up 4am, eating not after 11am and prayers and meditation the whole day. I can tell you how much my feet, knees and back suffered from pain. But the aim is to relieve the pain from your body. To become strong enough to bear these procedures means to become strong enough to bear the hardships of life. That´s why they go to the tempel – if possible every weekend, and for a little while almost each day.





Boys? Girls? Beautiful people!

All these experiences strenghten me on my path towards change in my life, in order to do better. A first small “change” was already done when I got my hair cut after 5 years. And it does indeed look much better. The guys in the salon seemed to be the only Vietnamese in Pattaya and freaked out when I spoke to them in their language. Monday evening we´ve been to a ladyboy cabaret. Very nice show with changing themes and stages, colourful and glamorous, great. And the ladies were styled like on a fashion show – high class Kathoey. And by now I don´t keep the opinion anymore that you have to search for Kathoey in Thailand. Now, having practiced my eyes for identification, I see them almost on evey street corner. It does really seem that Thailand is the country of the “third sex”. That´s why Thailand is such an interesting place for me. And they are looking so good – even better than girls! ...why you sometimes really cannot determine and believe that you´re walking next to a gracious woman. The sex and gender definition is in this case very difficult due to the fact that they are each on a certain stage of transformation. And maybe this all teaches us that the difference does not even have to emphasized, because besides being proud to be a ladyboy many suffer from the circumstances and have the only aim to be a 100 percent girl and we can probably go without our habitualized binary classification.

Now I arrived in Bali. Udayana University and the internship at the consulting group have to be done. I suppose it will be a piece of hard work, but nevertheless I will habe the chance to meet further challenging experiences. The first one will be to find a convenient place to stay at.

Sex City

Was ripped off the double price and paid 40 Euros instead of 18 or 20 for two hours taxi ride. Then the driver pointed out I had signed a bill excluding the highway tax. I was so fucked that I just said, that both of us shoudn´t consider such ideas any further and stared into his eyes ... not a nice way in a culture of loose-face but his way wasn´t gentlemen-like either. Nevertheless it worked ... he lost no word about the tax anymore. Having had two hours of sleep in the tourist packed Thai plane was no pleasure as well as backseats on highways aren´t. But the destination´s asses are. I have never seen a place like this. Fifty percent of the city´s population ist employed as sex workers - the other fifty are men. You have endless streets here fronted by bars with dozens of girls inside, one more beautiful than the other with their sexy Asian eyes. Shaking their coffee brown cheeks wearing hotpants and appearing like nymphs in their almost only velvety skin covered thight bodies. “Sexy boy I see you, already falling in love with you!” ... the way she cried taht out ... I must say that a cheap quotation like this can only be forgiven such a hot bitch - admitting that this excuse derives from as cheap men phantasies, I do also sometimes suffer from. Due to my own very “optical” perception that all does also attract my senses but I am not loosing the awarness for this all being a big illusion for dreaming men who don´t know or are able to ignore the social structures behind all this. Sometimes you got 5 gals around you starting to kiss you and so...but smalltalk and smiling back seems to work here. The girls are all nice and don´t bother you too much expect of the visual aspect. As a loving boyfriend I will resist these bio-material short time satisfactions and illusions. So far to the first impressions. I am just home after having been at Seven Eleven. How much I missed it. (Consume and satisfaction again the issue ...) I bought Gatorade, Fruit Mentos, Soy Milk, Grass Jelly Drink, Water and a kind of green little dough balls filled with almond cream or egg yolk or whatever it is. They call it Moji. And Moji is the little discovery that I made today. And that´s what I love this part of the world for - the never ending little discoveries. My residency is currently shifting to being more time in Southeastasia than at home. In contrast to former stays moving around and living here lost a bit of it´s big-adventure character and became almost normal. I am less culture-shocked and more open for subtle things, from little Moji balls I never paid attention to before to aspects of social interaction.

Few days later - Now to my first night out on Walking Street: Kathoey are difficult here in Thailand. Not as easygiong and friend-like as in Indo. Money rules. Some don´t wanna be shot, others want 10 Euro for one picture and 50 for a shooting. Building confidence here will be very hard if not even impossible. Got one appointment tomorrow at noon in their appartment. He/She gave me her key...maybe a sign of mutual trust? Sat in that club and all were so unbelievable pretty. One was dancing in front of me on the bar, crouching down, sperading her legs and her perfect plastic surgery pussy was opening in front of my eyes. Couldn´t believe it. Looked so tasty that I could have eaten it to my beer. And it was wet! Other countries, other customs. Coz I am not familliar with them I didn´t dare to take the picture. Positioning a 135mm Canon Lens in front of her might not have been appreciated. I do indeed a more decent camera, Ixus something like this. Next day I did some pose photos with Oh in the park.



She told me about the difficulties of the scene here and remembered me to be careful with her colleagues. Later on I bought the IXUS 55. For the non pose but habitat-sessions that are my aim it is the only rational choice and thus a good investment.
In the evening I brought the prints to Oh and got to know Moji – another Moji, some very strange but nice chance. Because she is a nice person, I would have never expected to meet there. We went out togehther. We have been in a Thai Disco. Later I found out that she is a girl but few years ago was a boy. I hope to see her again and spend some more time with her – because I would like to find out more about her life and because she is such a lovable person.