Surf, Eat, Write, Sleep

I was quite nervous when finalizing works for a publication, going to a family wedding and having to prepare a lot of baggage on a Sunday evening for my flight next day. Sitting at Tan Son Nhat airport however, I felt already a little bit of the feeling I have been missing for years. The job in Vietnam is done. I have a month off. Two weeks in Bali, two in Saigon. A bit of freedom again. However, it is not really the same. The feeling is not as strong as before, as a student during semester breaks or my year abroad. Duties will be back. The next job is already agreed. Having no sponsors anymore there is always dependency on the system. Money needs to be earned because existence has to be bought. How would it be to travel without anything and for an indefinite period, without predefined destination? Backpacking was a bit like that. And actually life is that somehow. So why is it still not satisfying enough? It is all too slow maybe; or maybe because I do not exactly know what I want. Or I want too much, and get nothing, as Tia ages ago said. But well, one can get all with patience I believe. So working on different projects will be fine. One is scheduled for just this month. A book; for the first time not a scientific one; a story; about Vietnam, or rather a story from Saigon. In the meantime one needs to be happy in everyday life and take more time to do what one likes; time for surfing, writing. Here we go…

The last days in office - the view from my desk reminds me about sociology lessons and Foucault.

On my last day I go many presents from my great team. I am thankful having worked together for the last two and a half years.

View from office to downtown Saigon. In my next job there will even be less corporate and urban atmosphere than in Saigon … not yet sure whether that will be better or not.

Sit-in at Cun House Lounge with colleagues from the management level, was happy that more and more joined-in later on that evening

Before leaving I was so afraid of being a nomad again, at least for four weeks. Chatwin in his 'Songlines' describes nomadism as an essence of human life. And when I red it, I was not sure whether this really the case for all of us and "in our genes" or whether it is just true for some nomadic peoples, nomadic-minded individuals or native Australians going "walkabout". On the one hand yes, it might be the case for all of us, and also explain phenomena such as traveling and tourism, central elements of my occupation in many respects. On the other hand it is nice to get settled, and being settled provides us possibly with more safety, which is also a common need. Safety, love and belonging, even esteem, needs in the central section of Maslow's hierarchy can possibly be easier satisfied and earned without moving so much around the globe. Moving is also highly unsustainable, considering 7 billion plus modern nomads burning fossil fuel to move. This year a billion people crossed international borders for the first time in history. Can the way that my grandparents in the villages lived, being settled, be wrong? Does it have to mean that one stops walking on ones path when one stops moving physically? As far as I remember most of the older people I met were not great travelers, and rarely any of them seemed unhappy to me. Of course it also goes along with becoming comfortable, and this is probably the downside of it. There may be means to remain in control of this. Now I need to sell my motorbike, move to Indonesia, loose time and money again. Getting settled would avoid such actions. However, it would probably end up not only in saving such overheads, but also in allocating more and more goods? Would it be good for the kids possibly? I have no idea. At least if it was Bali, it would mean time for the ocean. Let's see what will happen in the next years to go. After all, journeys and the journey of life should be great.

Nights out in Saigon: with Peter and Chris at Sushi Bar Le Thanh Ton and then "Stadtranderholung" in Phu My Hung

My beloved ones on Dong Khoi Street

Getting older and growing closer - Hang and me on a wedding in the family

Time for playing again - trying the inbuilt miniature-effect of my new camera…I am taking a small one only, not the big SLR, compromising on the quality for more freedom

In Bali this time I have tried to live as cheap as possible, like I did as backpacker. And at that time it was my consequent low-spending that had allowed me actually the greatest adventures with little investment. Recently through all the business trips I have developed a greater need for comfort. I am also asking myself whether hanging out more at expensive places does bring you in touch with more interesting people; if one is not a great "socializer" anyway. In Saigon I often had the feeling that local elites and expats are broke alike; people just knowing business, making money, with little intellect and heart. Maybe I have not looked for other types carefully enough, I admit. As far as I believe and hope, in Bali in the future there will be a more diversified range of people and lifestyles to choose from than in Saigon. But let's wait and see. After all, expats are expats, and also there, knowledge, wisdom, open-mindedness and good behavior, like everywhere in the world, become less and less important. For the time being, I am not bound to any of these circles, and not working also not to any dress codes. Means singlet and board shorts all day long; often the same every day. I do what I want all day long. Be lazy on the beach. Talk to some people. Eat on the night market. Collect some stories from the past together for my book. Let the sun tan my skin. Enjoy that this is not a city. Not use any motorbike or car. Just walk everywhere. Walk for an hour, or for two. The baggage arrived late and after checking-in at my old beach-inn in Kuta, the last quiet place in town. I needed to wait. At first I felt a bit annoyed but reminded myself to stay calm and just wait for the bags. After all, it was great to have them delivered instead of carrying them to the taxi stall.

 Leaving Saigon - for the ??th time…

Singapore Airlines Meal … the way I love it…flying is always exciting

On the first day I went to the beach. I could hardly believe that I found myself riding waves again, parallel right away, better than ever before. In the meantime I think that it is a myth that Kuta Beach is a good spot for beginners. Where there is so much-close out, how could someone learn to ride parallel? It took me just a few minutes in the water, and I got back my sanity - of which I did not even think of having lost it. I got totally relaxed now, could breathe deeply again. Staring down the beach to Kartika Plaza Mall it feels totally unreal that it was me who just saw this quarter-pipe, which I rode, when it felt as if the planet was moving beneath me, in no time, reducing the world to this moment, my form of meditation. Darrel from Australia who has a company for cleaning carpets, but is "actually also a singer-songwriter" even commented "your surf's quite good, mate!" But that was just until the waves got stronger again a few days later and catapulted me from the board, nose-diving, while being to slow upon the take-offs. Also I experienced the unpleasant aspects of it again. There was this Swiss guy next door who told me that "Padma is the only surf-able spot in Kuta Bay, and all other waves are nothing". "Ja, ja," I just thought, the Swiss are same as the Germans, dogmatic and uneasy people. From that sentence on I went intolerant (as so often) again, and just limited communication to a "hello" with a standard-smile leant in Asia (some sources on the web list 13 or so smiles existing in Thailand for instance). And then there were there surf kids, if I am not mistaken possibly even the daughter of the family that owns my beach-inn. Ten or so they surf extremely well. And I dropped-in on a great long and big wave. It was the only one I caught on that day as it was quite competitive in the Halfway, and actually I did not want to drop-in. It just happened. She hated me so much, and her facial expression said that she wanted to kill me; she didn't even accept my apologies. Respect, is what locals at surf spots around the world always claim, and this is understood. But in my eyes respect needs to know also forgiveness and sharing. Whatsoever…struggles over rare resources will be expanding to all aspects of life gradually. I try to make the best out of it all. Sunset surf again creates colors that defy description. Surfing for inner peace; soul surfing; not to become more competitive but to leave exactly this competitiveness behind. Watching out to the sea the sky is pink, purple, blue, red, orange, yellow, white and green, with massive cloud patters spanning the firmament, and the sea is silver, blue and white, and in addition reflects the colors of the sky. Watching to the coast it is yellow greenish, with the water matte, the sand brown, beige, yellow, greenish, grayish, and many other color nuances that digital chips won't be able to capture. Though, I'd wish to have a waterproof camera always with me on the board. There was this fascinating parade on the beach, kind of a semi-ceremony as I have understood, that was undertaken as a company event. There was this coconut queen, fat and so sexy, with her surf board and the way she acted. But well, the beach here is complicated too, and as I am not a friend of complications and have come to understand such places, in the future I will seek out different spots I am sure.

Walking for my first surf this trip

seen on Jalan Pantai Kuta

A function (not real ceremony, as I was told) of a company on Kuta Beach

Just another sunset on Kuta Beach

Looking back, the last two and a half years went over like nothing. Life somehow became very fast, and it was not all bad about it. However, being often busy with work and many things, life has also somewhat lost depth. Talking with Rich, we both realize that time actually is - together with health and maybe love - the most precious determinants that one can reduce quality of life and happiness to. Working in an industry that requires much commitment and pays just "soso", it is thus a double-loss. In July I had made a decision to move on with my career, and now have revised it once more. The gain that one has from this industry may be on locations and lifestyles - like what is planned for January. Let's hope it will pay out. And time-pockets like this now definitely need to be created on regular basis if the future does not offer a nine-to-five job at some stage. Last week I was very happy and surprised on my last day at office, how much appreciation my team showed to me. We have been working together for two and a half years and it was a time during which I have learnt much. Working in this industry can be frustrating, and it is also not easy working for the first time with a team of ten, in an intercultural context. Sometimes we got frustrated with each other, but we always understood well to keep the good atmosphere up. The same is valid for the company as a whole. I loved working for my company, and for my boss, the management, the owners. So it was not an easy farewell, however, I am happy to stay with the company in another country, and it is not a good-bye forever, as Vietnam will always remain a place to return to. I got some presents from my team and also from Ms. Lan and was more than surprised to see that they knew not only exactly what I would like but also guessed my size exactly. Despite all, I did not miss my job for the fraction of a second.

The dog at my beach-inn

Writing on my book project: the first non-scientific trial; such a difficult task if you are not a full-time writer

Arriving back in Vietnam after a two weeks Bali holiday - with 90 pages of life-fragments and a few millimeters less of belly - freedom is healthy!

In the evenings or afternoons I tried to concentrate on my book. I thought that missing Saigon would make it easier to write about it. In fact, I learnt that the atmosphere was too different to be inspiring in this regard. For that purpose I should perhaps better have gone to another place far away to write, like Danang in Central Vietnam, or whatever deserted place, best possibly even an unattractive one. Yet the mission was not only writing but also relaxing and doing something for health, so with the surf break in front of the door it was fine to be in Bali again. It was not really the great escape that I had hoped to find, and which was possibly illusionary; also because I will soon move here, and are already considering the place a new home. And I have realized that the old days are gone. Hanging out with the beach boys is not the same as before. It is not my world anymore. And an island as touristy as this, I will need to find enough distance from all that superficial stage-zone. It will need a few interesting people and activities. Otherwise, I often think it might pull me back to the developed world, back to new challenges on the side of knowledge and skills, in Germany, Australia, Singapore or elsewhere. It would be great to work there in teaching and travel Asia for research. On the other hand it should all not depend on the place. One needs to be able to be happy everywhere. And, when taking still into consideration place-dependency, Bali offers already so much in terms of lifestyle options. So let's see what's coming up in January. For now, it will be my last two weeks in Vietnam.