intermezzos

The new year raises the question whether it has all just been intermezzos or whether there will be a more sustainable approach to life. At the moment I am really done with the way my private life went since I arrived in the city. It was the ones who I have considered as a family and as part of my dream in life who gave me the hardest time ever. It was they and the circumstances, that made me lose faith. On the other hand it were them who had shown me a reality which I was ignorant about. It was the worst I ever met, the best I ever loved, the most I ever missed, the least I ever had. It made me all tired. Possibly it had all just been wrong anticipations which are now ruined. An important task, a love and a fight might be lost. Can it be, that four years had just been an intermezzo? Can something be so strong that it destroys all, can we be influenced so far that even human life becomes meaningless? It can. The reality of life that I have learned here is the daily drama of millions of people that are so far away from a small peaceful hometown in the developed world.

A beach intermezzo…

…balm for the soul?

When Thuy Hang brought the dog to our house, I believed that it would be a good task for her to take care for it. But it soon tuned out simply to be an additional source of inconvenience. As nobody had taken care for it, we gave it away after just a few days. Same story as always. Life as unfeasible commodity. Good in order to play with but impossible to care for.

dog intermezzo – no time to take care

The shortest of all intermezzos was when I recently checked in a local five star hotel where I had been presented a free-of-charge night. After a few minutes in the room I decided to check out. I took all the amenities and water and left the hotel. I still feel sorry for the receptionist who could not believe that the hotel did not do anything wrong. They and - actually its me too at this time - who just don’t sell my way of life. This urban manifestation of mass-market tourism bores me to death, as the city with its only activities being shopping, eating out and clubbing. I miss Bali. Maybe also just an escape. An artificial paradise. But still, it has much of positive energy I could need to recover from a hard story in a hard city. This story cost me so much, faith , trust, energy, and I am taking distance. But possibly I will never be out of it. And I don’t know how it will continue. I just know that the chance for it being a good way decreases day by day. And thus, finally, it seems that I will always have to carry on this burden, the sadness about the sadness of someone.